Matrimonial Ads

A news paper had a humor page with following matrimonial published in it.

DOCTOR:
Recently a love-bug injected in me a strange bacteria, making me desirous
of
marriage. I'm looking for a girl who is patient and has knowledge of all
ills and pills, is religious minded and keeps away from all sins be it
anasin, metasin or crosin. I promise to be a good doctor with no side
effects.Apply or reply.

BEGGAR;
Allah ke nam pe koi ek biwi de de, Doosre ki nahi to apni hi de de,
Allah tujhe ek ke badle do dega, Hillary hogi to Monika bhi dega

LAWYER;
I hereby beg to solicit myself as an eligible candidate for the post of
husband after marriage. The person whom I'm looking for should be strictly
a
girl. The girl should be strictly a girl. The girl should be willing to
surender to the service and jurisdiction of My Lord i.e. Myself. Any
objection would be overruled and will not be sustained. Apply in confidence
and if you have the confidence.

BANKER;
Wanted wife who takes interest in me and credits me with her service.
SHAYAR;
Badi muddat ke baad ek arzoo jaagi hai, Ki hum bhi shadi shuda ho jaye,
Kya vajah shadi karane ki jo kahde sahi sahi, To yaaron ab khud se kaam
ghar
ka hota nahi.

Drunker;
wanted a girl. Girl's father should preferably have a soda factory. I am an
occasional alchoholic who drinks only when friends come home. Friends come
home only seven times a week. Girl preffered will carry me from bar to
ghar-bar. Meet personally or send soda for trial. Sample should be ample.

CAR MECHANIC;
Wanted a sturdy wife. Should be in working condition. Should be above
average and must run the household at a good average.